Manual My Other Wife is a Car

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Extractors were plumbed into Simca Arondes ('Some car, this Simca') and I could buy a can of Candy Apple red to paint more speed under the bonnet of my.
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The best children's books are also the saddest. From the comfortable passenger seat of the Volvo XC90, handing out the in-car snacks and regulating games of 20 Questions, it does not feel that way. It feels like a good deal. In any case, women are statistically far safer drivers. Before we had children we survived without a car. In fact, we did not get a car until our second child was on his way.

My Other Wife is a Car - John Wright - - Allen & Unwin - New Zealand

If you live in London there really is no need for four wheels — the traffic is terrible, the supermarkets deliver, and taking a bus outside of commuter hours is quite a fun way of keeping children entertained. I do occasionally have to transport the children to their various commitments. The two-year old sometimes says: It always rains on Sunday. My distaste for driving is compounded by the size of our car. If you have four children your only options are a seven-seater, a minibus, or two cars. We OK, my wife chose a Volvo XC90, the favourite vehicle for north London, wood-burning stove owning, spelt bakers with a conflicted attitude towards global warming yes, we have a compost heap in the garden; no, I am not giving up my flights to Tuscany.

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It is a hateful, ugly beast of a car, as wide as two hippos. I wince every time I drive down a residential street, hoping that if I suck in my stomach I will not scrape the car.

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Harry Wallop's Volvo XC90 is normally surrounded by more cars than this one. This weekend, however, was possibly my driving nadir. I ended up in the gutter. Or, rather, mounted on the pavement. Like an idiot I had entered a cul-de-sac while looking for a parking space so that I could quickly buy a loaf of bread on the way back from collecting the mud spattered, shivering, 9-year old from rugby.

But there was no space in this tiny cul-de-sac. No space to park and certainly no space to conduct a three-point-turn, or even the point one that I attempted. If I was a better driver, I would have realised this and promptly reversed back into the main road.

My Other Wife is a Car

Instead, I blindly pushed on and tried to turn around, in the process managing to wedge myself at an angle inside a space too small for the car. My only option to avoid crunching a parked car to the side and behind me was to mount a high curb. The tree took the full force of my incompetence. Each desperate spin of the steering wheel and ker-klunk back down off the pavement seemed to make the situation worse. Then, as I eventually reversed up the cul-de-sac, the car stopped. The car, plastered in happy images of the pair, is pictured with Roxanne standing in front of it beaming.

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The couple started their YouTube comedy family channel over a year ago, in which they often play pranks on each other and joke about life as first-time parents. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.

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