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Extractors were plumbed into Simca Arondes ('Some car, this Simca') and I could buy a can of Candy Apple red to paint more speed under the bonnet of my.
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- My Other Wife is a Car - John Wright - - Allen & Unwin - New Zealand
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The best children's books are also the saddest. From the comfortable passenger seat of the Volvo XC90, handing out the in-car snacks and regulating games of 20 Questions, it does not feel that way. It feels like a good deal. In any case, women are statistically far safer drivers. Before we had children we survived without a car. In fact, we did not get a car until our second child was on his way.
My Other Wife is a Car - John Wright - - Allen & Unwin - New Zealand
If you live in London there really is no need for four wheels — the traffic is terrible, the supermarkets deliver, and taking a bus outside of commuter hours is quite a fun way of keeping children entertained. I do occasionally have to transport the children to their various commitments. The two-year old sometimes says: It always rains on Sunday. My distaste for driving is compounded by the size of our car. If you have four children your only options are a seven-seater, a minibus, or two cars. We OK, my wife chose a Volvo XC90, the favourite vehicle for north London, wood-burning stove owning, spelt bakers with a conflicted attitude towards global warming yes, we have a compost heap in the garden; no, I am not giving up my flights to Tuscany.
It is a hateful, ugly beast of a car, as wide as two hippos. I wince every time I drive down a residential street, hoping that if I suck in my stomach I will not scrape the car.
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Harry Wallop's Volvo XC90 is normally surrounded by more cars than this one. This weekend, however, was possibly my driving nadir. I ended up in the gutter. Or, rather, mounted on the pavement. Like an idiot I had entered a cul-de-sac while looking for a parking space so that I could quickly buy a loaf of bread on the way back from collecting the mud spattered, shivering, 9-year old from rugby.
But there was no space in this tiny cul-de-sac. No space to park and certainly no space to conduct a three-point-turn, or even the point one that I attempted. If I was a better driver, I would have realised this and promptly reversed back into the main road.
My Other Wife is a Car
Instead, I blindly pushed on and tried to turn around, in the process managing to wedge myself at an angle inside a space too small for the car. My only option to avoid crunching a parked car to the side and behind me was to mount a high curb. The tree took the full force of my incompetence. Each desperate spin of the steering wheel and ker-klunk back down off the pavement seemed to make the situation worse. Then, as I eventually reversed up the cul-de-sac, the car stopped. The car, plastered in happy images of the pair, is pictured with Roxanne standing in front of it beaming.
The couple started their YouTube comedy family channel over a year ago, in which they often play pranks on each other and joke about life as first-time parents. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.
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