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What books can I read to help me understand my child? Maybe today you are that bewildered parent (or grandparent, aunt, uncle, or teacher). *This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids: A Question & Answer Guide to Everyday She might have feelings for both a boy and a girl in her tight-knit group of six.
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The authors also have several helpful videos on YouTube if you want to explore more after reading the book. For any parent, discovering that your child is gay can bring so many different feelings to the surface. But for Christians, this already emotional experience can be even more complex when considering how sexual identity and faith are interconnected.

Author Matthew Vines, a gay Christian himself, took a leave of absence from his studies at Harvard back in to research the Bible and same-sex relationships. His studies led to the writing of this book and the founding of The Reformation Project , which champions LGBT inclusion in the church.

Gay Parents As Good As Straight Ones

If terms like nonbinary, intersex, and genderqueer leave you scratching your head, this is the book for you. This handbook is an entertaining, easy-to-follow primer on understanding the complexity of gender. Killermann is straight but is often assumed gay because of his admittedly feminine tendencies in gender expression. He uses his own experiences in the book to help readers understand the important distinctions between gender identity, expression, and attraction.

Killerman also has some additional education resources and a link to his TEDx Talk on his website. This book contains fifteen essays written between and by African American lesbian writer and poet Audre Lorde. While some of the references are dated, her core arguments come through just as powerful and relevant today. This book helps identify ways in which minorities are marginalized in our American culture and offers insights that foster empathy for identities that are different from your own.

Pulitzer-Prize-winning author Amy Ellis Nutt spent almost four years working with the Maines family to tell the story of a transgender girl and how her transition affected her entire family. Early on, Wyatt was clearly different than his twin brother Jonas, insisting he was a girl even as a toddler. Over the years, as Wyatt transitions to living as Nicole, the girl she knew herself to be, the family also undergoes a series of foundational changes. Arthur is spending the summer in New York when he briefly meets Ben. When fate intervenes and they meet again later, it seems maybe it is meant to be.

This delightful rom-com showcases the awkward amusement of teen dating, an interracial couple, supportive parents, and some awesome Broadway references. Juliet is a Puerto Rican lesbian woman who is just starting out on her own, venturing from the Bronx to take an internship in Portland for the summer. It is a story of a young woman finding her voice, embracing her identity as a lesbian woman of color, and trying to find her way in the broader world. The author paints Juliet in bold, believable strokes, so you will find the language, strong opinions, and feelings of youth.

It is a funny and charming look at young adulthood and identity. Amanda is dealing with all the excitement and anxiety of being the new girl in town. But she is keeping a secret. Amanda is transgender, and she has to decide if and when to share her past with her new friends and boyfriend. She also has some questions about her sexuality. She might have feelings for both a boy and a girl in her tight-knit group of six teens who called themselves the Hexagon. Aristotle and Dante meet at the swimming pool and seem at first to have nothing in common.

But as they start to spend time together, a close and enduring friendship develops. The book examines the concepts of identity, friendship, and sexuality. Even though I have both parents, my mom has definitely done most of the raising. And I know that when I compare myself to my friends, in which both parents share the tasks more equally, the children are more at peace.

A boy growing up looks at his father to teach him to act like a man. A girl growing up looks at her mother to teach her to be a woman.


How many times do you have kids copy their parents? Parents are the first teachers of children. You were taught how to walk, say thank you, and build a sand castle before you entered kindergarden. Your uncle or family friend for the most part does not live in your house and does not have an intimate relationship with your other parent.

For the most part, they say its really hard. Now on to homosexual parents. I agree with Bradley, that a homosexual couple is fully capable of loving a child. But the role of a parent is not just to love and morally support a child. Finally, we never stop learning because it is a lifelong process. Growing into a woman or a man begins the moment we are born. He or she will never truly be the equivalence of an actual father or mother. Some may say that two homosexual women can teach a girl to be a woman.

So what is the dad for? To teach her how to be treated by men and how to be respected by them. Not just in love but in friendships, relationships, school, and work.

Gay Parents As Good As Straight Ones | BU Today | Boston University

We learn by example, which is why kids mimic their parents growing up. If you take out one-half of the spectrum, you are not offering the child the full breadth of knowledge they deserve. How can you say you have any concern for the child if before they are even born you feel you have the authority to dictate who they are and are not allowed to be, to describe what is allowed and prohibited from their very identity?

A person is a PERSON first, their penis or vagina has NO place in determining their personality or how they are treated by those around them, much less restrict who they are allowed to become. In this way any two human beings can raise another human being, if they are both truly willing to recognize their child as that: He meant forcing children into an identity from an early age based on what their genitals might be, which in my opinion, IS child abuse.

The writer of this article presents an already formed opinion—a naive and biased one. Gay marriage only became legal for the first time in or in Amsterdam I believe. Barely years has passed since then. Do we know if gay marriage will work well? Has the writer himself been raised by gay parents? Are you writing from your own experience or even some second hand experience? Have you interviewed children who are being raised by gay parents? Have you followed up their development into adulthood and see how they are living in society?

Writers and artists included should know that they have serious responsibilities in shaping and influencing the cultural fabric of our time. Is this any different than propaganda? That kind of thing tends to backfire. Barry Siegel of the American Academy of Pediatrics bases his endorsement of gay families raising children was created and conducted by noted lesbian Nanette Gantrell who has been in a gay marriage with lesbian activist Dee Mosbacher for 37 years.

What kind of professional is he? Would he accept a study on the health of Coca Cola if it were conducted by the officers of that company? Why are you so quick to assume someone trained as a researcher who is also gay is driven by bias, whereas someone heterosexual would somehow not be biased??? Gee Wiz, this is a very good reason why many of us straight guys are having a very hard time meeting a good straight woman now.

God created the family unit as a father, a mother, and the children. I do agree though a child needs love, but the love of a mother is totally different from the love of a father. A child needs a balance of love from a father and a mother. I firmly believe children need a mother and a father, not 2 mothers or 2 fathers. A child doesent need a certain type of love from a mother and a father.

There are many kids I know with two moms or dads or just one of them and they do just fine. They never care about what gender their parents were. All a child needs is love, and a fathers love is no different than from a mothers love, because parents love their children the same. And I firmly believ a child needs two parents that love them regardless of their sexual orientation.

Appears that some of you did not pay much attention to the fact that this article cited the opinion of self-reports by the mothers and kids. I am not sure why they are called mothers but the point should be that the study has not been going on long enough and the final evaluation has to be done by unbiased scientists, not the mothers or kids… I personally find it difficult to believe that in the long run kids are not bettor with a good mother and a good father rather than two of the same! However, yes there are many bad parents and in those cases it does not matter if they are the same sex or not….

I am looking for a parent from a same sex couple who has a teenager and is interested in sharing their story. Children in LGBT families fare as well as other children. Research shows positive outcomes for children in LGBT families: More than 30 years of research shows that children raised by LGBT parents are just as happy, healthy and well-adjusted as children raised by heterosexual parents.

Every major authority on child health and welfare has determined that sexual orientation has nothing do with the ability to be a good, effective parent. I wish I had gay parents. That would be so cool! In any case, my straight parents get into fights all the time, and I am NOT the happiest person in the universe. No one can seriously believe a little girl whose mother is a Microsoft VP gets the same messages and experiences about what women can and should be and do compared to a little girl raised by a conservative Muslim or an impoverished teenage mom in rural Mississippi.

The thousands of interrelated factors affecting family quality are too diverse and personal to be regulated, and parental chromosomes or genitals would be far down on that list anyway. I have an attraction to women rather than a man. While randomized controlled trials may be the holy grail of science, this is one of those areas where an RCT is ridiculously infeasible anyway. What are we going to do?

I want to point out that NONE of the studies that routinely contend that kids with two parents do better than kids with a single parent are based on RCTs either. We should not let a blind adherence to RCT-or-nothing be an enemy to science, well-designed observational studies are the best we can hope for in most social science fields! Lets stop all the ridiculous labeling. What all children need is love, a stable home with unconditional encouragement and praise. Why must we condemn two individuals of whom are willing to provide these things and more for, in most cases for children who would not have these opportunities.

My wife and I , yes we are a Lesbian couple, have been together for 7 years. We never considered having children of our own, but wanted to share our home and love. We adopted two special needs children who fill hearts with joy. Both attend a private christian school where all students are taught that every family is made special. Some kids only have a mom or a dad at home, some are raised by there older siblings, aunt and uncles, grandparents or foster parents.

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As to the post from Mario about a child need an example of the same sex. Our kids have been brought up with Love, strong morals and family support. A person is who they are going to be. I know that we have worked hard to provide our children with the best opportunities. Where if my wife and I had decided to not adopt, our children more than likely, due to their condition would have been bounced from foster home to state home until Then left with no resources on the street, which is common place. Think of all the homes that could be provided for less fortunate children. Quite frankly none of the studies pro or anti are perfect.

Samplings are small and data does not cover enough years. There are anecdotal stories of children of gay parents doing great and other children who have had a different experience. Just like some children raised by single parents do fine even though statistically the odds are against them. So anecdotal stories pro or con are not very helpful either. As a husband and father I know this.

A mother and a father both bring something unique and important to a childs life. Any child raised without both a male and female parent starts life with a deficit. A deficit that can be overcome but they start with one strike against them. A child with a mother and a father in a stable household is always the best situation for a child to be in. Can this be backed up by social science. But the real question is do we really want to do another social experiment on children.

I understand and sympathize with the desire of gay parents to have children. Anything else is, well — baloney. That is beyond bias. As a scientist, this study would be much more respected if it answered objective questions while comparing children of same-sex couples to children who were raised by their biological parents in an in tact family. My kid, so far, lives in a world where having same-sex parents is not very remarkable, nor is having parents with different skin colors, or only one parent, or step-parents, or grandparents raising you instead of parents, or parents who speak a different language.

His peers and elementary-school teachers and actually every single person he has come in contact with in his life understand, as he does, that families come in all different kinds, and that what makes a family is love. He is loved; his world offers him everything he needs. Not having a mom is far less interesting to him than not having a dog, or not having his uncle or aunt live nearer than they do. This is a real person, folks: Will one of you be the first person to tell my son that contrary to everything he has always thought, he should not exist; that his life is missing something essential and he should therefore feel miserable; that there is something unnatural or unstable about what he thought was the most natural and secure thing in the world, namely his home and family?

Best statement thus far. Everyone, whether homo- or heterosexual, has it in them to be a good, loving, and caring parent. The problem is that a lot of times, this does not happen. So, point is, gay or straight, be a good parent and teach your kids to be smart and nice to people, not the other way around.

I cannot have children and I am heterosexual and I chose to be a parent. Am I less motivated because I am heterosexual? That is reverse Tolerance, or whatever is is being called today. Another claim on the tip post is that on average gay parents are more committed than hetero parents on average because they chose to be parents. Even if that child is healthy, that is a very illogical comment based on nothing other than a tempting to be a good ally to LGBT by putting down another group.

I doubt that those fighting for LGBT rights look to do so at the expense of putting others down. Shame on you brando and those who marginalize others without solid evidence, simply to try to make a point or to be an ally.

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  • I am so thankful this artile is out! I love knowing that my child, that has 2 mommies, will be okay. He is not hurt, he does not suffer, he is loved more than imaginable and is so far advanced that we have to keep him in a school that will constantly challenege him. I assure you no one, no one could love him anymore than we do.

    I carried him in my belly for 9 months, and I swore nothing, if I could help it, would ever hurt him. My mother is a lesbian, and the man she was with a very long time ago my father is a good dad, but not a good husband. My mother divorced him, and came out to my older brother and I when I was 8, and he was about to turn Sometimes accidental pregnancies do happen, and that was the case for my mom becoming pregnant with my older brother before she met my father.

    If I treat people with respect, have a good work ethic, and know how to love myself and care for others, then that is all that matters. I got what you mean , thanks for posting. Woh I am delighted to find this website through google.

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    Also compare hetero parents who adopt to hetero parents who raise their own kids. Why has no one considered this? In fact, even in relationships, one person may love the other more than in reverse. Oh yeah, and another example, marriage counselling. Not always the case. The young fellow was with me more than his own mother for the first 4 and a half years of his life. I taught him about his family history, numbers, alphabet, vocabulary, music… he is now 10 years old and a straight A student, even though his father has not proven to be a good role model… walked out on his Mom weeks after the second child was born and is who knows how far behind on child support.

    I would rather be the gay uncle that cares about the kids I did not give birth to than be the father that walked out on his children. Tomorrow the kids, their Mom and I are planning a trip to the zoo. The little one will be 4 in a few weeks. I need to show him a watch tomorrow and tell him of how I was wearing it the day he was born.

    At this age just showing it to him will be enough. Here I spend all of my adult life trying to make things as nice as I can manage for my larger family and strangers want to say that people like me are a threat to the sanctity of marriage and of family. What truly matters is their capacity to love a child unconditionally, to play with them, to cuddle them, to put them before all else and to trust them.

    These are all things my parents did for me. Unfortunately I wont be able to vote so I urge anybody who knows me or my family, or has been touched in any way by this article to be my Yes vote. Taisce Gillespie is a year-old law graduate and washed up actor. He plans to devote his life to studying psychology, yoga and Eastern philosophy and building some kind of therapy from that.

    Taisce is running an online fundraiser for humanitarian relief following the Nepalese disaster. For more information or to donate, please visit: This scheme in addition to defending the freedom of the press, offers readers a quick, fair and free method of dealing with complaints that they may have in relation to articles that appear on our pages. Please note that TheJournal. For more information on cookies please refer to our cookies policy.

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    You may change your settings at any time but this may impact on the functionality of the site. To learn more see our Cookies Policy. I was raised by two loving, beautiful lesbian mums As a child raised by gay parents, I can tell you that my childhood was full of joy and laughter and the same as yours in every way that matters. By Taisce Gillespie Sunday 17 May , 8: I grow up with unconditional love I grew up in an environment of abundant love, this makes it impossible to feel like I could possibly have lacked for anything. They did dress me in pink quite a lot… How did other children react?

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